Well, I would like to start by saying if you said a little prayer for me, thank you, following my last update my loan has been approved!
I have paid off my credit card and my overdraft and I have closed my overdraft completely!
The only person left is Gramps, as I explained the next few weeks are tight for me, I have put his money away in emergency savings in case I have an unexpected bill come through while I am away so when I get back from Cyprus and I've a full weeks wages behind me, I will be able to scratch that off the list too!
To say I'm happy is a massive understatement for how I feel right now and yes I still have something to pay back to clear the loan, but this massive situation isn't lingering over my head any more, I can sleep, I can smile, I can do things I need to do without hesitation, that feeling is priceless.
Now that I have been able to clear this hurdle albeit with a few hiccups, I would like to start working towards a new goal, this goal will commence mid June and it will be to start saving, but properly... this way I have a bit of money behind me if anything goes tits up again and if it doesn't, well that would be nice wouldn't it?
Overall I am really, really pleased that I didn't just opt for the loan, I'm glad I tried to sort it out on my own first, granted it didn't go to plan, but it taught me the seriousness of the situation I was in and has scared me straight when it comes to moving forward. It also taught me how to budget properly which will be beneficial in this process of repaying the loan and will leave me in a much better position for the future.
I am glad to be able to say this is my final chapter on this matter, I will still write updates in regard to my savings plan and how I'm finding the repayments but it will not fall under this title any more, so if you are on the same adventure as me, make sure you subscribe to BASIC and keep an eye out for updates and as always I hope this post is helpful to you!
Sunday, 22 May 2016
Friday, 20 May 2016
Balancing life with work.
Hmm such a tricky subject for me, I'm a hermit for real.
Not by choice naturally, but years and years of anxiety tend to have that effect on you, its not that I don't want to experience life, I'm scared to experience life.
Now, I still haven't made it over my anxiety hurdle completely as you know if you read my blog frequently. I suffer in a big way with social anxiety, if you are not very well acquainted with me and haven't been to this section of the internet before I have linked the relevant post here. I always feel like everyone apart from me has something going for them and something interesting to say for themselves. I have become a fly on the wall and a shadow of my former self and I know I am only 22 but I am very very different to who I was back in my real I still have 'teen' in my age years. I know people grow up and change, but all of the great things about me have been taken by my anxiety. I have improved vastly, granted, but it still lingers in the back of my mind when I am out with people I love and want to be the best version of myself around and because of this I don't go out too often, I don't like bullsh*t bubbles being massively frequent and I don't want to be a debbie downer on everyone around me.
This is where the work/life struggle comes into play, now my life consists of waking up, glass of water, pee, shower, dress, bus to Croydon, greggs, sausage roll/steak bake and hot chocolate (if you wanted to know, occasionally a bottle of water if I have forgotten one or Lucozade if I am feeling like death), train, Greenwich, work, blog at work, train home, walk from station, stand outside my block for 30+ minutes chain smoking and chatting on the phone, upstairs, dinner, tidy, brush teeth, bed.
That is pretty much it, routine in my free time is the joy killer!
It has gotten to the stage where I need a day off after my day off if I actually do something on my day off. I HAVE NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT!!! I have nothing interesting to say when I do actually see people, I don't do anything really but work and clean my house, but everyone, every person I know has been stuck in this rut, you have just gotta get out of it.
Start putting yourself out there more, send that first text, get the plans made and live your life! Cliché as it is, you only get one life do not waste it on this trivial rubbish.
I always find I am happier when I work on early shifts but quite often I find myself on lates. My shift patterns vary between 8-4, 10-6, 10:15-6:15, 12-8, 12:15-8:15. So when I am on the earlier shifts, I am more likely to push myself to make plans after work or actually enjoy some quality time with my better half if I go home, when you do late shifts obviously its not as easy to make good use of that time, so what I do is go out when I know I have the next day off that way my time is unrestricted and I'm not thinking about work while I'm trying to have fun.
Push yourself to do something, even if you have no one to go out and do something with! Experience life and use your time wisely, in this society we live in with rent, bills and work you don't get much time to invest in yourself and I think that's why a lot of us are so unhappy, were unfulfilled and were living and working to make someone else's dream rather than building our own. That's not to say drop all of your responsibility and f*ck the world, its tempting I know, but you should be putting the same effort you do into dragging yourself into work every day into yourself in your own time.
And that is pretty much what I have learnt myself by struggling with this work/life balance, I'm still not all the way there but I am making the effort and I am seeing a change in my happiness levels when I am at work. It's always nice to have something to look forward to after a long week in the office so I will definitely be keeping this up and making more of an effort to keep routine in my work life, but not in my personal life.
Not by choice naturally, but years and years of anxiety tend to have that effect on you, its not that I don't want to experience life, I'm scared to experience life.
Now, I still haven't made it over my anxiety hurdle completely as you know if you read my blog frequently. I suffer in a big way with social anxiety, if you are not very well acquainted with me and haven't been to this section of the internet before I have linked the relevant post here. I always feel like everyone apart from me has something going for them and something interesting to say for themselves. I have become a fly on the wall and a shadow of my former self and I know I am only 22 but I am very very different to who I was back in my real I still have 'teen' in my age years. I know people grow up and change, but all of the great things about me have been taken by my anxiety. I have improved vastly, granted, but it still lingers in the back of my mind when I am out with people I love and want to be the best version of myself around and because of this I don't go out too often, I don't like bullsh*t bubbles being massively frequent and I don't want to be a debbie downer on everyone around me.
This is where the work/life struggle comes into play, now my life consists of waking up, glass of water, pee, shower, dress, bus to Croydon, greggs, sausage roll/steak bake and hot chocolate (if you wanted to know, occasionally a bottle of water if I have forgotten one or Lucozade if I am feeling like death), train, Greenwich, work, blog at work, train home, walk from station, stand outside my block for 30+ minutes chain smoking and chatting on the phone, upstairs, dinner, tidy, brush teeth, bed.
That is pretty much it, routine in my free time is the joy killer!
It has gotten to the stage where I need a day off after my day off if I actually do something on my day off. I HAVE NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT!!! I have nothing interesting to say when I do actually see people, I don't do anything really but work and clean my house, but everyone, every person I know has been stuck in this rut, you have just gotta get out of it.
Start putting yourself out there more, send that first text, get the plans made and live your life! Cliché as it is, you only get one life do not waste it on this trivial rubbish.
I always find I am happier when I work on early shifts but quite often I find myself on lates. My shift patterns vary between 8-4, 10-6, 10:15-6:15, 12-8, 12:15-8:15. So when I am on the earlier shifts, I am more likely to push myself to make plans after work or actually enjoy some quality time with my better half if I go home, when you do late shifts obviously its not as easy to make good use of that time, so what I do is go out when I know I have the next day off that way my time is unrestricted and I'm not thinking about work while I'm trying to have fun.
Push yourself to do something, even if you have no one to go out and do something with! Experience life and use your time wisely, in this society we live in with rent, bills and work you don't get much time to invest in yourself and I think that's why a lot of us are so unhappy, were unfulfilled and were living and working to make someone else's dream rather than building our own. That's not to say drop all of your responsibility and f*ck the world, its tempting I know, but you should be putting the same effort you do into dragging yourself into work every day into yourself in your own time.
And that is pretty much what I have learnt myself by struggling with this work/life balance, I'm still not all the way there but I am making the effort and I am seeing a change in my happiness levels when I am at work. It's always nice to have something to look forward to after a long week in the office so I will definitely be keeping this up and making more of an effort to keep routine in my work life, but not in my personal life.
Thursday, 5 May 2016
Getting out of the red: Part two.
Okay, so as we all know I have been having a mini meltdown which has not helped in the slightest with my budgeting plan to get myself back on my feet financially.
So, I tried to re calculate my budget plan to figure out how I can get out of this situation and I was not able to find a suitable resolution at this time. It's my better halves birthday on the 17th so I have obviously requested his birthday and the day after off work to celebrate with him and in a bitter sweet way the 19th was my day off anyway so I get an additional day with him which is great buuuut I will only be paid for 3 days work that week which is not ideal. Following that from the 24-31st I will be in Cyprus on a family holiday which is another two weeks I wont get paid in full for because I will be doing awkward days here and there in the run up and when I return.
I want to be really excited for this break with my family but I am finding it difficult as I will have barely any money once I return and probably no money while I am out there, to be honest I'm not too bothered about that while I am there as I intend to sun myself on the beach for as long as possible! And before anyone starts questioning my financial situation and why I'm going abroad, this was a trip booked by a lovely family member who has arranged this as a way for us to all break together, I have not had to pay for flights and accommodation I simply need to bring myself and some spending money, so thank you to my auntie for being so kind as to take me to see a part of the world I haven't yet been to.
So now all that's left to do is to sort out this horrible mess I am in, I took the steps to apply for a loan of £1300 for a 12 month period, the amount repayable will be around £130 per month for that year which is a lot more manageable than what I am doing at the moment. I tried to apply over the phone but the woman wouldn't even let me finish before telling me that because I am a contractor I wouldn't be eligible for this support. I cried at work guys, it was my last resort and someone just stomped all over it. I understand why in terms of 'responsible lending' but if they were really that responsible with their lending policies, they wouldn't be harassing you as soon as you turn 18 with credit card application forms every month! I am 22 and renting a flat in London, I am pretty certain if I did lose my job I would need another one to you know, stay alive, eat, keep a roof over my head and all that jazz, so my circumstances wouldn't change that drastically and even if they did, I would be able to find that £130 a month to give back to them. I'm contracted, as are most staff where I work because it works better for the company and the employees, obviously I would love to be permanent but I want to be permanent in a role I love so I am waiting for that opportunity so I can take it with both hands.
Following the call I wallowed in self pity for the rest of the day at the situation, I brought some cigarettes on my way home (I haven't been smoking a lot recently) and sat outside my block reflecting on life and how I ended up in this situation, smoking cigarette after cigarette until I started to feel unwell, at least I got my moneys worth (lol).
Today I spoke with my mum and my grandma about this because I feel completely trapped, it seems no matter how good my intentions are there is always something that crops up and ruins everything. So today I applied for the loan online myself, it seemed to allow me to fill out the online form without immediately rejecting it, I will receive correspondence from the bank via post to let me know whether or not they are happy to approve this for me, and if they are I simply sign the form and send it back to them and wait for this money to arrive in my account.
If it is approved I intend to put this money in 3 directions, £850 to my credit card, which I will then leave with my grandma at her house so I do not have access to it without her being privy as to why I need it, she has also agreed to ensure if I do use it to make a purchase, I must clear the balance in front of her on the same day and to prevent any sneaky purchases I will also remove my credit card from my paypal account. My credit card debt did not mount due to me being irresponsible by the way, as I'm sure you all know it was because the better half had an accident which put him out of work for a significant period meaning I had to find a way to make ends meet.
£300 of it will be going to clear my entire overdraft, which I intend to close altogether, its a really difficult thing to get back but I am always in my overdraft and I would rather my wages just went to me, enough is already going out on tax, pension and national insurance what is left after those deductions I want for myself, ya know? It's not like I don't work hard for it.
The final £150 will be going back to my gramps as I have a personal debt with him, I borrowed some money to try and even everything out but unfortunately life has its own plan and meant that I only ended up in a worse position than the one I was already in, typical, I have saved £250 already to return to him.
So lets all pray for Liza for a moment and hope this is granted, or alternatively hope that some miracle happens where the money needed magically appears in my account without me having to pay it back ever, (I'm joking, this is a lesson that needs to be learnt), but I am really hopeful my plan B happens and if it does get rejected I am going to be quite devastated as I really have no other plan as of yet to sort this out, irresponsible, yes maybe, but I genuinely cannot think of how to get out of this situation right now and even if I could, I do not have the willpower to action it, I'm pooped guys, I'm sick of this lingering over me.
As promised I will continue to keep you updated on my progress in regard to this situation in case you in the same boat as me, hopefully this open conversation is of use to you and if you have any suggestions for me, by all means holla.
On a serious note guys, if you're not responsible with money, this plan B isn't for you, you need to stay with plan A and get someone to hold on to your card and help you budget properly, you don't want to end up worse off than where you started, believe me, it is not a nice feeling.
For now, I'm off to chuck some things on eBay and try and make some monaaaaaay to put in my savings juuuuusssst in case sh*t hits the fan, again.
As always, love, love, love to you all reading my thoughts! Don't forget to keep me bookmarked for frequent updates on BASIC.
So, I tried to re calculate my budget plan to figure out how I can get out of this situation and I was not able to find a suitable resolution at this time. It's my better halves birthday on the 17th so I have obviously requested his birthday and the day after off work to celebrate with him and in a bitter sweet way the 19th was my day off anyway so I get an additional day with him which is great buuuut I will only be paid for 3 days work that week which is not ideal. Following that from the 24-31st I will be in Cyprus on a family holiday which is another two weeks I wont get paid in full for because I will be doing awkward days here and there in the run up and when I return.
I want to be really excited for this break with my family but I am finding it difficult as I will have barely any money once I return and probably no money while I am out there, to be honest I'm not too bothered about that while I am there as I intend to sun myself on the beach for as long as possible! And before anyone starts questioning my financial situation and why I'm going abroad, this was a trip booked by a lovely family member who has arranged this as a way for us to all break together, I have not had to pay for flights and accommodation I simply need to bring myself and some spending money, so thank you to my auntie for being so kind as to take me to see a part of the world I haven't yet been to.
So now all that's left to do is to sort out this horrible mess I am in, I took the steps to apply for a loan of £1300 for a 12 month period, the amount repayable will be around £130 per month for that year which is a lot more manageable than what I am doing at the moment. I tried to apply over the phone but the woman wouldn't even let me finish before telling me that because I am a contractor I wouldn't be eligible for this support. I cried at work guys, it was my last resort and someone just stomped all over it. I understand why in terms of 'responsible lending' but if they were really that responsible with their lending policies, they wouldn't be harassing you as soon as you turn 18 with credit card application forms every month! I am 22 and renting a flat in London, I am pretty certain if I did lose my job I would need another one to you know, stay alive, eat, keep a roof over my head and all that jazz, so my circumstances wouldn't change that drastically and even if they did, I would be able to find that £130 a month to give back to them. I'm contracted, as are most staff where I work because it works better for the company and the employees, obviously I would love to be permanent but I want to be permanent in a role I love so I am waiting for that opportunity so I can take it with both hands.
Following the call I wallowed in self pity for the rest of the day at the situation, I brought some cigarettes on my way home (I haven't been smoking a lot recently) and sat outside my block reflecting on life and how I ended up in this situation, smoking cigarette after cigarette until I started to feel unwell, at least I got my moneys worth (lol).
Today I spoke with my mum and my grandma about this because I feel completely trapped, it seems no matter how good my intentions are there is always something that crops up and ruins everything. So today I applied for the loan online myself, it seemed to allow me to fill out the online form without immediately rejecting it, I will receive correspondence from the bank via post to let me know whether or not they are happy to approve this for me, and if they are I simply sign the form and send it back to them and wait for this money to arrive in my account.
If it is approved I intend to put this money in 3 directions, £850 to my credit card, which I will then leave with my grandma at her house so I do not have access to it without her being privy as to why I need it, she has also agreed to ensure if I do use it to make a purchase, I must clear the balance in front of her on the same day and to prevent any sneaky purchases I will also remove my credit card from my paypal account. My credit card debt did not mount due to me being irresponsible by the way, as I'm sure you all know it was because the better half had an accident which put him out of work for a significant period meaning I had to find a way to make ends meet.
£300 of it will be going to clear my entire overdraft, which I intend to close altogether, its a really difficult thing to get back but I am always in my overdraft and I would rather my wages just went to me, enough is already going out on tax, pension and national insurance what is left after those deductions I want for myself, ya know? It's not like I don't work hard for it.
The final £150 will be going back to my gramps as I have a personal debt with him, I borrowed some money to try and even everything out but unfortunately life has its own plan and meant that I only ended up in a worse position than the one I was already in, typical, I have saved £250 already to return to him.
So lets all pray for Liza for a moment and hope this is granted, or alternatively hope that some miracle happens where the money needed magically appears in my account without me having to pay it back ever, (I'm joking, this is a lesson that needs to be learnt), but I am really hopeful my plan B happens and if it does get rejected I am going to be quite devastated as I really have no other plan as of yet to sort this out, irresponsible, yes maybe, but I genuinely cannot think of how to get out of this situation right now and even if I could, I do not have the willpower to action it, I'm pooped guys, I'm sick of this lingering over me.
As promised I will continue to keep you updated on my progress in regard to this situation in case you in the same boat as me, hopefully this open conversation is of use to you and if you have any suggestions for me, by all means holla.
On a serious note guys, if you're not responsible with money, this plan B isn't for you, you need to stay with plan A and get someone to hold on to your card and help you budget properly, you don't want to end up worse off than where you started, believe me, it is not a nice feeling.
For now, I'm off to chuck some things on eBay and try and make some monaaaaaay to put in my savings juuuuusssst in case sh*t hits the fan, again.
As always, love, love, love to you all reading my thoughts! Don't forget to keep me bookmarked for frequent updates on BASIC.
Wednesday, 4 May 2016
10 Things I am grateful for...
Following my last post I wanted to share the 10 things I am most grateful for to give me a little boost of positivity. Feel free to comment yours below for me (I'm really nosy so I will read your comments).
I am grateful for my family, as annoying as they are, I wouldn't be half the person I am without them.
I am grateful for my other half, we've been through it all and he is still there, still loving me even at my worst and opening my eyes daily to things I never thought of before.
I am grateful for my job, I feel so fortunate to be in the position I am even if I hate it in the moment.
I am grateful for my friends, there may only be a handful, but they're the best handful of people in the world and they're all completely unique.
I am grateful for my health, even though times are testing my heart is still beating strong, I'm still breathing and my head is held high.
I am grateful for my home, I work hard to maintain it but I am so grateful I have somewhere to rest my head every night.
I am grateful that even if I hit my lowest low, I will not walk alone, my family, my partner and my friends will always support me.
I am grateful for the opportunity I have to express myself freely through writing, I hope and pray one day I can make a career of this because it brings me the most immense amount of peace and happiness.
Last but not by any means least, I am so grateful for my mum and dad and for bringing me onto this planet and giving me the opportunity to live my life and always supporting me no matter what.
I am grateful for my family, as annoying as they are, I wouldn't be half the person I am without them.
I am grateful for my other half, we've been through it all and he is still there, still loving me even at my worst and opening my eyes daily to things I never thought of before.
I am grateful for my job, I feel so fortunate to be in the position I am even if I hate it in the moment.
I am grateful for my friends, there may only be a handful, but they're the best handful of people in the world and they're all completely unique.
I am grateful for my health, even though times are testing my heart is still beating strong, I'm still breathing and my head is held high.
I am grateful for my home, I work hard to maintain it but I am so grateful I have somewhere to rest my head every night.
I am grateful that even if I hit my lowest low, I will not walk alone, my family, my partner and my friends will always support me.
I am grateful for the opportunity I have to express myself freely through writing, I hope and pray one day I can make a career of this because it brings me the most immense amount of peace and happiness.
Last but not by any means least, I am so grateful for my mum and dad and for bringing me onto this planet and giving me the opportunity to live my life and always supporting me no matter what.
The list could of course go on, but these are the fundamental most valuable people and things I am grateful for, like the 10 commandments of gratefulness Liza style and this list will never change.
As always, see you in my next post...
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