Okay, so as we all know I have been having a mini meltdown which has not helped in the slightest with my budgeting plan to get myself back on my feet financially.
So, I tried to re calculate my budget plan to figure out how I can get out of this situation and I was not able to find a suitable resolution at this time. It's my better halves birthday on the 17th so I have obviously requested his birthday and the day after off work to celebrate with him and in a bitter sweet way the 19th was my day off anyway so I get an additional day with him which is great buuuut I will only be paid for 3 days work that week which is not ideal. Following that from the 24-31st I will be in Cyprus on a family holiday which is another two weeks I wont get paid in full for because I will be doing awkward days here and there in the run up and when I return.
I want to be really excited for this break with my family but I am finding it difficult as I will have barely any money once I return and probably no money while I am out there, to be honest I'm not too bothered about that while I am there as I intend to sun myself on the beach for as long as possible! And before anyone starts questioning my financial situation and why I'm going abroad, this was a trip booked by a lovely family member who has arranged this as a way for us to all break together, I have not had to pay for flights and accommodation I simply need to bring myself and some spending money, so thank you to my auntie for being so kind as to take me to see a part of the world I haven't yet been to.
So now all that's left to do is to sort out this horrible mess I am in, I took the steps to apply for a loan of £1300 for a 12 month period, the amount repayable will be around £130 per month for that year which is a lot more manageable than what I am doing at the moment. I tried to apply over the phone but the woman wouldn't even let me finish before telling me that because I am a contractor I wouldn't be eligible for this support. I cried at work guys, it was my last resort and someone just stomped all over it. I understand why in terms of 'responsible lending' but if they were really that responsible with their lending policies, they wouldn't be harassing you as soon as you turn 18 with credit card application forms every month! I am 22 and renting a flat in London, I am pretty certain if I did lose my job I would need another one to you know, stay alive, eat, keep a roof over my head and all that jazz, so my circumstances wouldn't change that drastically and even if they did, I would be able to find that £130 a month to give back to them. I'm contracted, as are most staff where I work because it works better for the company and the employees, obviously I would love to be permanent but I want to be permanent in a role I love so I am waiting for that opportunity so I can take it with both hands.
Following the call I wallowed in self pity for the rest of the day at the situation, I brought some cigarettes on my way home (I haven't been smoking a lot recently) and sat outside my block reflecting on life and how I ended up in this situation, smoking cigarette after cigarette until I started to feel unwell, at least I got my moneys worth (lol).
Today I spoke with my mum and my grandma about this because I feel completely trapped, it seems no matter how good my intentions are there is always something that crops up and ruins everything. So today I applied for the loan online myself, it seemed to allow me to fill out the online form without immediately rejecting it, I will receive correspondence from the bank via post to let me know whether or not they are happy to approve this for me, and if they are I simply sign the form and send it back to them and wait for this money to arrive in my account.
If it is approved I intend to put this money in 3 directions, £850 to my credit card, which I will then leave with my grandma at her house so I do not have access to it without her being privy as to why I need it, she has also agreed to ensure if I do use it to make a purchase, I must clear the balance in front of her on the same day and to prevent any sneaky purchases I will also remove my credit card from my paypal account. My credit card debt did not mount due to me being irresponsible by the way, as I'm sure you all know it was because the better half had an accident which put him out of work for a significant period meaning I had to find a way to make ends meet.
£300 of it will be going to clear my entire overdraft, which I intend to close altogether, its a really difficult thing to get back but I am always in my overdraft and I would rather my wages just went to me, enough is already going out on tax, pension and national insurance what is left after those deductions I want for myself, ya know? It's not like I don't work hard for it.
The final £150 will be going back to my gramps as I have a personal debt with him, I borrowed some money to try and even everything out but unfortunately life has its own plan and meant that I only ended up in a worse position than the one I was already in, typical, I have saved £250 already to return to him.
So lets all pray for Liza for a moment and hope this is granted, or alternatively hope that some miracle happens where the money needed magically appears in my account without me having to pay it back ever, (I'm joking, this is a lesson that needs to be learnt), but I am really hopeful my plan B happens and if it does get rejected I am going to be quite devastated as I really have no other plan as of yet to sort this out, irresponsible, yes maybe, but I genuinely cannot think of how to get out of this situation right now and even if I could, I do not have the willpower to action it, I'm pooped guys, I'm sick of this lingering over me.
As promised I will continue to keep you updated on my progress in regard to this situation in case you in the same boat as me, hopefully this open conversation is of use to you and if you have any suggestions for me, by all means holla.
On a serious note guys, if you're not responsible with money, this plan B isn't for you, you need to stay with plan A and get someone to hold on to your card and help you budget properly, you don't want to end up worse off than where you started, believe me, it is not a nice feeling.
For now, I'm off to chuck some things on eBay and try and make some monaaaaaay to put in my savings juuuuusssst in case sh*t hits the fan, again.
As always, love, love, love to you all reading my thoughts! Don't forget to keep me bookmarked for frequent updates on BASIC.
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