I'm a very straightforward person and without sounding like a b*tch, I don't believe there is any point in crying over spilled milk, might as well mop it up and get on with your day. That is not to say I'm not empathetic to your situation or that I wouldn't extend my hand to help you but I don't have the time to chase you around trying to get you to let me help you if you're not interested in moving forward and again, without sounding like a b*tch I would rather help you get over something than hold you back by letting you relive the same situation constantly, I am a shoulder to cry on when you need to have that moment but I wont converse about the situation repeatedly with no resolution in sight.
I always get told off for this harshness by family and occasionally friends but I think, without sounding cocky of course, that I am one of the best friends you could have, I refuse to waste time (mine or a friends) on bs, I'm honest, I'm always there any time day or night and if you set a goal for yourself I will put the time in to help you reach it.
The problem is, people don't seem to want friends like this, they want a friend to stroke their ego, sit and regurgitate nonsense for hours, essentially, not me. Personally I can't imagine anything worse than having a friend that doesn't challenge everything and is obedient to you, that is not how friendships should operate in my opinion, I'm sure it works for a certain type of person, but that person certainly is not me.
I will continue to be me, but I may have to make some changes or put some distance between myself and certain people because I 'can't even' with these situations all the time, in the most upfront, non cocky and genuine way, I just do not have the time or brain capacity for this drama.
I'm sure I will have to revisit this space again but for now, please drop me out.
#rantover
#byefelicia
I share your tendency to be blunt to the point of upsetting people sometimes (especially the ones closest to me - ain't it always the way?) It has helped me to learn that for some people, support just needs to be a sympathetic listening ear, at least until they're ready to roll up their sleeves and get to work. However, some people do habitually avoid doing that work, they'd sooner get into their narrative about the situation / their partner / parent / sibling / colleague / boss / WTF ever else that’s not them. It can be a phenomenal drain of energy trying to "help" those people, stepping away is a necessary option sometimes.
ReplyDelete